My neck thankfully coloring orange-mold while Tony Robbins says People are not lazy, they simply have impotent goals. My heel tip-tests the underfoot chair; my hand tug-tests the overhead fan; Tony tells the half-rapt overlighted stadium I see the dim of through my laptop’s power-saving screen: All growth starts at the end of your comfort zone. There is no such thing as failure, only non-constructive results. Life is happening for you, not to
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I’d’ve liked to write my reasons in a note, but good reasons to die are non-constructive to write. I’m gagging my brain during a YouTube ad and, what’s worse, there’s no such thing as failure. Tony! He says You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and start being excited about what could go right.
Discovering I can’t name five people I spend mutually unforced time with, I turn red for associated reasons. Here’s the loose end of the rope draped sashwise down my front as though her highness’d unknurled it. I dishevel it—refining, sadly—and listen, all ears for more recorded heartening. Does it matter at this point whether I’m starting to feel warm or very cold?
Tony warns me If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.
My last words—Thump!—were You don’t call that a thought, do you?
Selen Ozturk is a San Francisco-based writer with work in The Point, Full Stop, Necessary Fiction, Senses of Cinema, Socrates on the Beach, San Francisco Chronicle, SFGATE, and more.
