rancid liquid squirting chin soggy torso peristaltic rush rapid breath spit reset deep slow in and out and in and out in and out got to keep it down; guts crease pain stabs needles knives fetid bargain basement raw spirit choking gasping fighting sucking air like life itself convulsing waves eyes nose pouring tears snot hacking coughing puke spatters weakly wet cotton sticky chest hair halfawake fully drunk trapped gyroscopic blur unfixed centre ceaseless motion breathless sickness
      going
      going
      one
      more
      heave
      FUCK
      d e e p b r e a t h
      iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin
      and
      gone
   sinks back spent lumpy chair slept when time no more head  pounding blood pumping tumescent mess brain tissue throbbing vein could pop just like that end whole sorry scene teeth chattering lips contorting parodic ecstatic gurning muscles wracked iceblood shivers pumice stone tongue mouth hot desert sand wasted arms fleshless ribs brief warmth sick shirt cooling clinging cloying chill spinning slowing living room wreck spinesnapped sofa dead tv fireplace mirror shattered object hurled fury lost unremembered blur indeterminate past curtains torn sunshine spewing double glazed glass splashing winewhite light stains floor
     whats that fucking smell
   stale fags poison seeping gaping pores petrol reek white label something else rich organic ripe oh fuck not again clammy claggy wet denim bending double gagging dry elbows knees hands cup-ping head plastered arse tepid shit glint sun glass weightless vessel head back bottle tipped vain hope drops dregs fumes no nothing shakes it bone dry drained primal screech standing slowmo wobbling cushion sticking wet cloth peeling thoughts of scalded skin faecal stench lurching blindly up rests sink halfupright bearing scant weight trembling cold grimy bath grasping old pint tin ravaged facehole turbid moist relief semisolid soggy grainy boking scratching tongue desperate hands nails splintered bitten quick skin cracked sore cuticles rusty red spitting tab end misted flat foul ale climbing in turning tap arctic cold stealing breath shocked melting merging burning gelid clinging clothes growing warm shuddering marionette full grand mal shower swilling rotten cavern tearing threads free running water stickman frame washing wiping sick sticky diarrhoetic shit fingers thin grey crows claws lifting rags jet scrubbing wanting craving needing
    drink
    drink
    drink
    drink
    drink
    drink
    drink
   tap back wet towel slick black tiles mildewed drying dead flesh skin stretched tight on bone only clothes horse dressing torn jeans black top shapeless holes damp loam mould shit sweat needing needing needing cupboards bare sick sick sick cant wont must leave need need fucking need loose carpet tripping broken rail sharp stab bleeding palm down stairs shoes wallet keys together praise the saints in fucking heaven key lock tumblers click rattle chain cold brass handle cold white hand heart mouth horrors here horrors there sunlight traffic noise people people all those people hinges creak door ajar
no
yes
no no no no no no no
swallowing acidbilepuke deep clean hit morning air
no
door wide
no
head follows neck follows chest follows waist follows legs follows feet
no
stepping
no
from one world
no
to the next
no
and outside to face