Transcript of Catastrophising Recorded at the Workshop Theatre on 10th October 2023

(Clap) Take 1
(Clap) Take 2
(Clap) Take 3
(Clap) Take 4

Footage of hand rummaging in bowl

You may think that the path in front of you where you’re firing the bullet is clear, but something may appear in the path of the bullet. Even if you think that you’re firing into the sky, it may hit perhaps a bird, it may course through the body of that bird, piercing all the way through, interrupting their organs, sending them down, crashing down to the ground. Even if it only clips their wing, then this will create an imbalance which will render them unable to fly quickly, to fly reliably in the direction that they want to fly. And thus, they will be caught by a buzzard, by a red kite, very easily.

Footage of hand rummaging in bowl

The items that are being suspended could very easily fall, if not enough attention has been given to what parts of those items can come apart, what parts of the items can detach and fall. You have to bear in mind the height. As items accelerate through the air, they become more dangerous, so that even a small item from a great height can inflict a huge amount of pressure when it comes down on the heads of people who are standing below. And you would certainly want to stand below this. I think that people would want to stand underneath it to get a full view of the effect that this wind is having on the items, some of which are very heavy. There would also be concerns about putting the items up – ladders can collapse very easily if they’re not put up correctly, which can cause people to fall and hurt their hips, particularly the sides of their bodies can impact very heavily on the ground, which you’re got to imagine is a hard wooden floor, and can fracture very nastily around the hip.

Footage of hand rummaging in bowl

People may get themselves into situations where they want to place these items in novelty locations that would impress you as the artist. So, they may start climbing up motorway bridges, or wanting to dangle themselves off the side of buildings, to leave things on a window ledge on the side of a building that requires them to climb down from the roof. They may want to leave these items on the train tracks, which risks them stepping on the live rail and electrocuting themselves, or being a person under the train. They might want to get to the top of particularly high places on a windy day, their fingertips may become very precarious on the side of St Pauls Cathedral, or whatever other building they want to scale just to be on your map.

Footage of hand rummaging in bowl

If you had to carry these items up the trunk of a tree, you would perhaps have to hold this ball, or this water bowl in your mouth, to allow you the use of your arms while you’re climbing upwards. Now, if you had to start digging in with your teeth, there’s a chance that you’re going to destroy the enamel of your teeth, or even that the weight of gravity will turn out to be stronger than your teeth, and that the force of the bowl pressing downwards pulls, starts to pull your front teeth down, with gravity, until you drop the item, potentially on a person standing at the base of the tree trunk, looking out for me, who would receive a glass bowl on their head, at quite some distance. As the tree goes further up it becomes less supportive of your weight as well, you risk pressing your limbs against the sappy surface of the tree, and getting sap stuck to the arms which can’t be removed and only transfers itself onto everything that you try to remove it with.

Footage of hand rummaging in bowl

The material, there’s no material that can be used to join two fires together that won’t also become part of the fire. Unless it is something perhaps metal that’s non-flammable, but again that would heat up. And as you place these additional objects in the fires to join them together, you’re risking touching those objects. Do you perhaps drop the object from above to avoid your hands coming into contact with the fire? But that will accelerate the air towards the fire, the dropping, the air is moving, and that sudden influx of air feeding the fire would cause the flames to burst outwards, possibly setting your clothes on fire. Alternatively, you could place the item very carefully, perhaps using a non-flammable glove, but how far you’re placing your hand in, you would have to be very careful. If you join perhaps cars together, if one of those cars sets off, then is the connecting cord simply going to snap? Or will it pull on the other car behind it, so that they’re, the two cars, the second car is being pulled along, but it’s not under anybody’s control, so it veers from side to side massively. It pulls on the car in front and prevents it from turning with the traffic, it perhaps doesn’t go always in the direction it’s supposed to go, veering to the left and into oncoming traffic.

Footage of hand rummaging in bowl

The people who are under this canvas, and trying to make it home, they may not be able to see where each other’s legs are, and may become entangled, especially since they perhaps can’t see their feet very well. They can’t see it out of the edges of this canvas, so, they can’t see the edges where one person falling may pull, with the fabric that is at their necks, may pull forward the whole string of people, resulting in them toppling on top of each other.
They’re also unable to see the ground beneath them, if there is any glass, if there are any sharp stones, which may catch them off guard, cause them to hop or jump, which again would pull the whole train of people down onto the floor, possibly scraping their knees, their shoulders against these sharp stones that caused the first person to yelp. Or, their feet simply may be very cold, if they’re walking home through the snow on their feet, over time you start to lose blood flow to your feet, parts of your feet become cut off from the blood flow. They turn black, it stops even hurting, you lose pain in them completely, and that’s when the cells begin to die off.

Footage of hand rummaging in bowl

The trouble with nebulizers is that the chemicals that your typically spray at your throat through these things can raise your heart rate to a great degree. So, if this person is spraying these chemicals down their throat, inhaling them at very regular intervals, well by the time they’ve been doing that a while their heart rate will be so elevated that they’re putting their body under incredible strain, the heart is having to pump too hard, they may start to breathe too fast, they may hyperventilate, they may start to become dizzy because of taking in so much air. You feel that intensity of too much blood coming to your head, and you start to lose the capacity to know where your fingers are, and what is going on with the rest of your body, and you become fully contained in your breathing, in the pressure that is coming into your face and your forehead, and knowing that the blood is rushing through your neck
too quickly.

Footage of hand rummaging in bowl

If the performer is putting their arms through two holes that have been made for them, and are holding a heavy instrument, that makes me think that enormous strain is going to be placed upon the shoulders and the forearms. If you have to hold your arms out in front of you, especially holding something heavy for a long period of time, that places enormous strain, and it’s down to the performer to decide what level of strain is reasonable – they have to have an awareness of how much strain they can take before they put something out in the shoulder, before they strain that muscle, potentially even ripping the muscle is possible apart from the joint – it’s possible to completely detach the muscle from the joint. So, I think they need to be cautious about the weight of the musical instrument that’s being played, and give particular thought to guitar players, in particular. I’m not sure about the weight of different instruments – it may be that you could prop certain things on the floor. Also, the musicians can’t see what they are doing, so you wonder if they would be liable to getting their fingers caught up in the strings of their instruments, breaking a nail.

Footage of hand rummaging in bowl

It is possible that somebody might choose a dangerous way of making a noise, such as slapping the head of the person in front of them. So, that person wouldn’t be expecting anything, and suddenly they would find the person behind them delivering their forehand to the back of their head, and that impact would depend on the power of the person who was doing it, but repeated impacts on the skull that make the brain shiver within it can be very harmful if they build up over time. It’s possible somebody might choose kicking instead. They might kick the person in front of them in the back of the shin to see what kind of noise that that makes, and their shoes might pierce that person’s skin, they might scrape and cut their skin, and get whatever muck is on the tip of their shoe inside the cut.

(Clap) End take 1
(Clap) End take 2
(Clap) End take 3
(Clap) End take 4

---

Sarah Dawson is a poet who devises and carries out difficult linguistic processes. Her visual poetry book expecting a different result was published by Haverthorn’s Interruptions imprint. Recently, she has performed at the European Poetry Festival, Xing the Line and Ilkley Literature Festival, and her work has been published on the Pamenar Press website. She lives in Leeds, England. She can be contacted via her website sarah-dawson.co.uk.